ruralblonde

Archive for December 2011

Pandora is making regular music media players obsolete.

Pandora… some may think it’s a fancy store. Some think it should always have BOX after it. I like to call it my best friend forever. It’s an “internet radio” that plays songs based off of what you pick. So say you want to hear songs by the Biebs and songs similar to that…it will make a radio channel just for you!

I’ve had a love affair with Pandora for a long time…probably summer of 2008—before Smartphones…when you really used your computer to access the interwebs and not your handheld device. I was fascinated with the idea of streaming radio from my computer.
Life eventually got in the way and I didn’t fall back in love with Pandora until I hooked up with my Smartphones and downloaded the app. Recently, I’ve had an obsession with Pandora that is bordering on neurotic. I get so angry at the regular radio in the car that if I can’t listen to Pandora on the road, I sit in silence and talk to myself.

Being a Broadway fan, and an overall fan of obscure non-popular music, without CDs and my iPod, I struggle. I won’t be hearing “The Internet is Made for Porn” (Avenue Q) on the regular radio…So I generally have boycotted the radio since Pandora and I hooked back up. The problem with this is, I never really here new music until weeks/months after it’s already popular…so I look like a fool. (I only heard Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith a week or 2 ago…) If I don’t hear it on Glee or someone recommends it, I’m ok without it normally…sometimes the radio can surprise me with some goodies though.

With Pandora I can listen to all of my Broadway stuff…and the rest of the randos that I love. BUT… why must Pandora limit me with 6 skips/hour? Sometimes it throws some stuff too random in there for even me—so I skip. I guess I’m impatient. But I would like unlimited skips please. PANDORA…HEY…LISTENS TO ME!

Recently I tried another internet/phone app radio service called Slacker. It is a slacker…because it sucked. It kept freezing. It wouldn’t play songs related to the search. I was sad…because I paid for the no-skip-limit option. I thought this would fix my torrid love-hate relationship with Pandora. Sadly, I’m stalking back to my old love with my tail between my legs, hoping for a peaceful reconciliation.

So, Pandora…I just want you to know how much I love you. You alone understand the freak show that is my music taste…and even though sometimes you play bubblegum pop when it isn’t warranted…I love you anyway. Where else can I go to listen to Evanescence and Lea Michele in the same hour?

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Living in the sticks.

 

If you were raised anywhere that had a stop-light…you are more “city” than me.  Not to say that there is ANYTHING wrong being raised in bumblef*ck, it’s just not an ideal situation for someone with a go-getta mentality. 

A little bit about my rural hell:

We have no stop-lights.  There is no McDonald’s in the immediate area.  Walmart is 20 minutes away and you will probably see an Amish buggy during your trip.  The closest movie theater is at least 30 minutes away (unless it’s summer time and you can go to the drive-in on the other side of the mountain!) and any good mall will take you over an hour to get to.  The area school district graduates less than 100 kids per year…and less than HALF of them go to college…and less than HALF of those entering college actually graduate.  It’s a blue-collar town of hard workers…but we have the same scum that you’ll find everywhere.  There is very little crime, but that’s changing.  There are a billion churches…and near one you’ll find a bar.  There is one young-adult hang out bar that ends up closing down due to too many people…by 10pm.  I could honestly go on and on. 

The problem with this rural hell…if you don’t WANT to get out…you never will.  People have very close-minded ideals and aren’t open to change.  Getting pregnant in high school is common.  Drug rates are high because there is nothing else to do.  It’s just not a great environment for someone who has dreams and aspirations…it’s more of an abyss.

I will say one thing for my little rural hell:  MOST people will do anything to help someone out.  There are always those few who are just assholes, but for the most part, it’s a help-me-help-you community.  The only problem with this “helpfulness”…everyone knows your business.  You can’t take a shit funny in rural hell without someone hearing about it.  If you’re any sort of private person, this can be extremely frustrating until you just give up and say you don’t care anymore…let them say what they want. 

I swore I’d leave rural hell when I graduated high school, and I did.  Penn State was awesome but distracting, and the end result wasn’t so hot…but I learned a lot of life lessons there.  Moving back to rural hell was the hardest thing I’ve had to do…and still living there, I hate to love it.  My family is here and I’ll never “forget where I came from”…but I wouldn’t invite anyone to move here.  I like to think of it as “the land that life forgot”…and if you can get by without seeing a mullet during the span of your day here…it’s a miracle.

Living in the s…

New Years Resolutions…

Every year, the week following Christmas, people are asking/telling their New Year resolutions. In your head (and anyone around), you are thinking to yourself, “yeah right, like that’s gonna last”…because most people aren’t going to stick to their resolution past a month. For example: gym memberships EXPLODE in late December/early January and the diligent idiots rush to the gym for the first few weeks of the new year, making it difficult for dedicated gym-goers to enjoy their normal workout routine. Examples of common resolutions include: eat healthy, go to the gym, save money, be more organized, etc. blah blah blah whine whine hooray. It almost seems cliché that it’s even done anymore because only 1/50 people are actually going to stick with it. I’m guilty as charged, many times I’ve said I was going to do something/change something in the upcoming year and given up mid-January. This year is no different… I’m going to attempt some lifestyle changes. Hopefully they stick…but I’m not going to be stressed if they don’t…there is ALWAYS next year!

 

My New Year resolutions:

1)STAY ORGANIZED! -I have major OCD as it is and my system of organization makes no sense to anyone but me…but I’m hoping to utilize a couple tools that will make it easier to stay on top of things. It keeps my anxiety down when I feel organized and put together…and seriously, who likes dealing with an OCD betch off her xan-meds with a f*cked up schedule…only ninjas have the power to calm that cray cray down.

2) Adopt a healthy vegetarian lifestyle! -I have been making major strides to change my eating habits and have made the decision to give up meat from my diet. This stems from some really awful information presented to me in an ecology class…and things I’ve read in Skinny Bitch. I’m not completely batshit and giving up dairy…but most animal products are no-no land. I’m also trying to eat more whole foods and cut out the processed garbage that is so easy to access. This isn’t going to say that I may chow down on nothing but potato chips for 8 hours when I’m stressed at work, but it does mean that for the majority of the time, healthy-hippie is the way I’ll play.

3)EXERCISE! -I’m not going to fool you. I’m lazy. So lazy that I actually list “being lazy” as a hobby. I like to think that I’m just really good at leading a sedentary lifestyle…but I’m not getting any skinnier and I can barely trot for the mail without becoming winded…GROSS (this may be accredited to my pack-a-day smoking habit too). So I’m going to ease into it and hopefully set up a nice little system where I get some exercise everyday. I have a stationary bike in the basement that I’ll need to dust the cobwebs off of, but I’m hoping that this will be my boost in the winter months. I’m not saying anything crazy like “I’m going to the gym everyday and I’m going to lose x amount of lbs by x date.” That is just not gonna happen. I AM LAZY. I don’t want to be a sloth anymore so it’s baby steps…hopefully away from the couch/bed and out into the world.

4) Spend less! -Living expenses are not high when you live in the middle of nowhere (besides gas) and live with a family member you are taking care of. I’m not planning on turning into a miser or anything…but I want to be more aware of where my money is going and start SAVING money in an account for emergencies/shoes/vacays.

5)Stop being a slob! -I spent years and years devoted to being skinny and beautiful…and blonde. I don’t know exactly what happened but I’m lucky if I feel the urge to brush my hair daily anymore. The goal for 2012 is to take the time to make myself presentable and take some pride in my appearance. No more rats nest hair dos and wrinkled pants. I’m 26 for f*cksake, I need to start acting like an adult, and part of that is looking like a human who cares more than a little bit about appearance.–>I realize this one sounds kind of vain…but in relation to my other resolutions: if I am eating better, being more active, and all-in-all keeping my shit together, there is no reason why I shouldn’t look the part of the put-together individual I am. Barely brushing my hair for work and looking like a zombie is not appealing.

 

I think this is do-able. I have to commit to the change in lifestyle. My body and my self-esteem need the boost to get the ball rolling back to “normal-town”. I was going to make “be happy” one of my resolutions but that is just bullshit. Happiness is different to each person and I’m never going to be the eternal optimist and I’m done trying to change that part of myself. So if you don’t like the snark…do yourself and me a favor and go back to delusion-land.

When you live in the middle of rural nowhere, you have little option to escape from yourself, let alone your family.  Being that I’ve lived in rural nowhere for most of my life I’ve become accustomed to this lack of escape.  This holiday season was no different.  Being that this was the first holiday season since the death of my father, I didn’t expect any of this to be easy.  It didn’t disappoint.

The highlight though of this holiday season has to be our “Christmas” dinner.  My dad’s favorite restaurant is closing this week, after 15 years of prosperous business (mostly because people like my dad could go gorge themselves on chinese food until they felt sick).  So, Grandma, Mom, and I hopped in the car and trekked the hour south to hit up this delicious chinese buffet treat.  Dinner itself wasn’t that bad…the food was good as it usually is.  BUT…the problem with AYCE (all-you-can-eat) places is that people really do eat all they can…sometimes to the point of sickness.  This little fatmuch, all of maybe 12 decided to eat all he could, plus some, and vomit on the floor next to where we were eating.  Awesome, right?  TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, the family of the fatmunch did nothing to rectify such a disgusting situation.  The poor employees were left to clean up the mess.  WHAT a freaking disaster.

 

The holidays have been hard… most of the time I feel like I’m walking around ready to breakdown or lash out.  But at least I can say there’s been some comedic relief to the situation.  And if I never set foot in a chinese buffet ever again…it’ll be too soon.

 

Fa rah rah rah rah…  Mery Christmas 🙂